Funny box, updated monthly!
Quotes from Homer Simpson:
"Now son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for Daddys,
and kids with fake IDs."
"Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen."
"You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine."
"Marge, don't discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel."
"If you really want something in life you have to work for
it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery
"To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's
"I want to share something with you - the three sentences
that will get you through life: Number one, 'cover for me.'
Number two, 'oh, good idea, boss.' Number three, 'it was
like that when I got here.'"
"Marge, you're as pretty as Princess Leia and as smart as
"Step aside everyone! Sensitive love letters are my
specialty. 'Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population:
"Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not
whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get."
"Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way."
"Stealing! How could you? Haven't you learned anything from
that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain
whats-his-name? We live in a society of laws. Why do you
think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For
fun? Well I didn't hear anybody laughin', did you?"
"Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'sir' without
adding, 'you're making a scene.'"
Do you care about your children's future?